Justification and Judging

Justification is not a word it’s a need we all feel time to time while dealing with our life. It’s the only thing which can smooth our growing frustration and guilt in minutes. We all need it and we all seek it from time to time. Mostly we seek justification when we are questioned not by others, but by someone sitting inside of our head known as our consciousness began asking us question, which we work hard to avoid. But the minute we lower our guards our consciousness began bombing us with questions, which we hate been asked. Some like what are you doing with your life? Where this all going? Why are you not worried about future of yourself? Why you smoke or drink a lot? And always this questions points us that we need to judge our self, our actions, and our decisions, but many times we rather choose justification than judging ourselves. Because justification give us right reasons for whatever we did and this put us in our own eyes as victim or a good guy when judging put us in exact opposite position while bombing us with guilt and none of us love feeling guilty. We all are justifying our self when we are late for office its always traffic or late trains. 

Whenever we smoke it’s always frustration. Justification may ease guilt, but it’s the short term solution for long term problems. Not long before I read a book called ‘mistakes were made but not by me’ it is a wonderful book and its writer talked in this book about how we all created a defense mechanism of justification in our self to protect us from judging our self and how we all justify our every deed. Why I smoke? Or why I disrespect my parents? Tough questions, but we all have our answers ready for these questions from smoking is cool to parents disrespected me in childhood. And who am I to judge I done the same thing.

And for some reason it’s better to justify than judge our self because judging can throw us into emotional turmoil which may last for years. Depression is the next threat on this list if we began judging our self. Because if we did judge our self we may shatter our own belief system and that could give some drastic effect on our personality and judging process don’t have stop button on it it’s an ongoing process and if we judge our self once we may judge our every step and move and sometime in life we have to take leap of faith rather than taking rational decisions in life. I am telling you this because I been through both justification as well as judging. I took decision which going to affect me for rest of my life career wise talking, but I did that because I had faith on my writing skills, and it turns out my decision was not entirely wrong to begin with I ended up with my first novel. Getting published is the different story, but it really improved my confidence and now I write more confidently than I used to in past. But before completing my novel there was a patch when I judged myself for that decision every single second of my life, and it thrown me into biggest depression I ever faced. Luckily I had someone with me to bring me back my confidence, and I owe that person hell of a lot because that person is the reason am feeling great about myself today.

Now if you reading this post you may be wondering what is the point here this writer want to make first he goes on and brag how we all justify and now he tell it’s a good thing to do. So let me get straight to the point. The point is every time we justify or judge we do it because we think other might thinking, and want to ask us this questions or some a**holes may act as your parents, and ask you such questions without giving s**t about your feelings. And we end up justifying or judging ourselves, but it will give exact opposite result than why we must do either one of them in first place. If we judge our self for others we end up with low confidence and depression, and if we justify for others we might overlook real problem, and end up hurting our self in some way. For example if my parents ask me why I am choosing writing over job for this year? I might actually end up with arguing with them instead of really putting thought into real problem that should I really choose writing over job or I can do both if there is a way. I could find a job where I will get chance to write, and I could really find solution to my problems as well as a way to fulfill my dream, but if I judge myself then I might give up my lifelong dream of becoming writer and took a dead end job where I don’t have my heart, and where I don’t have my heart I might turn to be bad employee and loose that job as well. So now I lost my passion as well as my job, and to be truthful what ever happen it won’t be my parents who suffer through it. It will be me who is going to suffer through consequences of my decision and after I lost my job my parents might blame me for it. It’s not that far fetched my friends so whatever is the reason which making you justify or judge yourself do it for yourself not to prove someone you are right and on a right path 

Because others don’t care much about your life because at end of the day it’s you who living it. Happy or sad it’s you who have to face it every day. It’s not someone else liver which is getting effected by your drinking problems so you might want to consider it for your own self. If you changed yourself for others asked you to judge yourself you may change, but it will last for very short period of time, and you might became your old self after that short time of judging is over. So if you really want to make change into your self do it for right reasons and do it for right person which is you. we want to judge our self we must do it on our own terms and for valid reasons and if you ask me judging us for what happened in past even yesterday is nothing but waste of time because it’s gone its past tense we can’t change it, but we can change what is about to happen, and consider thinking about our next step and decision than wasting time over judging or justifying our past decisions.

If you justify or even judge whatever you do you are doing it for actions, and if you judge, but didn't changed your habits or justify and end up changing both way its wrong thing to do which result might affect you in wrong way. All my reason to write this post is to help you stop ongoing battle inside of you of judging and justifying, and help you for looking at the problems and questions as they are detaching it from all the emotional dramas, and helping you look right at the heart of the problem and find once and for all kind of answer to that problem. So you may move on to dealing with whatever makes you feel happy in your life. I been through judging and justifying many times and always end up choosing wrong side, but after giving lot of thought to my problems rather than seeking reasons for why they are in my life. I finally found many solutions for my problems, and you also might find solutions for your problems. 

We are not born to feel guilty, sad, feared, and angry we are here to make a difference and to prove that our existence mean something, and to find love, and that’s why am writing this blog to help everyone out there to slightly remove emotional clouds form there heart, and make them see clear and bright sky. Live happy smile full and loving long life, and fight your way to the happy part of your life from all the problems and guilt you are in now. We all deserve to be happy. Stay happy, and make others happy.